FROM VICE TO SUCCESS: How I beat drugs and alcohol and became missionary of love and happiness (PHOTO) (VIDEO)

He is currently visiting Belgrade, where he will hold a lecture on 6. October in the center for the development of technological entrepreneurship (ICT Hub), and soon he will be moving to our neighborhood in four months, in Zagreb. He said that he brings people serenity and smile on the face, and many business people are grateful for that from Panama to Mexico. Michael Anderson, lecturer and the founder of JOY Institute from California will discover how to go from professional basketball player and owner of two companies prone to alcohol, drugs and playboy parties, to the world renown lecturer with the mission to help many find themselves and stay away from vices, which he does with great love through group therapies and workshops. 

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The author of the bestseller "The Experiment: Discover a Revolutionary Way to Manage Stress and Achieve Work-Life Balance", said that his heart "sings" every time he meets the children from the orphanage in Baha Mexico. 

Why did you stop playing basketball professionally? 

- Basketball taught me generally many things - about team work, discipline, hard work... I knew that there was a gap between my athletic capabilities and reaching next level in basketball. I also had a good education and i was ready to begin my working career, and playing that kind of basket is not the best way to survive. I was good, but those players in NBA were the best. Hard work alone was not enough to get me there - reveals Anderson.

Foto Marko Todorović

How did you start using drugs and alcohol? 

- Drugs and alcohol were all around us, and i was used to it. First of all, i had the predispositions for alcohol because there were alcoholics in my family. After a psychological work on myself, I realized that I did not have the emotional ability to deal with the world without vices. When the problems started, the world around me was moving too fast, I became anxious, as I was bored I needed an escape from it. People who have intention deficit disorder (IDD - intention deficit disorder) first escape to drugs and alcohol, but when I got out of that, I've developed some many healthy habits, such as meditation, exercise, yoga, healthy diet, limit the use of coffee and alcohol.

Foto Marko Todorović

What was crucial to decide to leave the vices?

- I learned that from spiritual psychology which is psychology of love and compassion towards oneself, it has nothing to do with religion. This is where we work on the relationship with oneself. The way we treat ourselves reflects our relationships with other people, our health, work, relationships... That history of love that we learn about, i will transfer to earlier context of my life. When i was younger, my father gave me a lot of love and attention until i was 5. From then he had a small family business but it started very badly, so he started drinking and spending a lot of time away from us, until my parents eventually divorced. He left us with nothing. and if that wasn't logical, although there is not much logic in subconscious, i believed for a long time that i did something bad and that father left us because of that. Since during the learning about loving we reflected on the relationship with our lives, in my late thirties with almost 12 years since his passing, i decided to go back and write a letter as a child to my father, but also his letter to me, as i believe i looked like. "My boy" wrote in that letter: "Hi dad, i don't understand what happened, we seemed like a happy family and suddenly everything changed. I would like to know what i could have done differently because you never showed your love the way i wanted, you never told me you were proud of me, we never spent much time together, you never told me you loved me. I am very confused and i would like to understand what happened". Then he like wrote me a letter: "Michael, thanks for letting me know. I understood it all wrong. Nothing that happened has anything to do with you, your sister or your mother. I am a man and as such i should contribute to the family, and i could't do it. I gave up, and my business started to fail and i am a loser, with you nearby i felt like one even more. Then i started drinking. The drink was my escape because it was easier for me to move aside, and you were probably better without me as i was, that is why i left you and did what i thought was the best". In the end he said: "Michael, i am very proud of you, i love you very much and i hope you will forgive me... " When i realized that was actually the truth, even thought i wrote the letter and i have been living thinking he doesn't love me, that was a trigger in my life. I no longer needed that escape.

You say you had two tipping points in your life, what was the second one? 

- April 2008. before my attendance to spiritual psychology, i had a very tough period in my life. I had two software companies, but i had no partner. I was majority owner and i brought a partner to help me. For weeks before that we talked about the majority percents and the tension was high between us. He came, as usual, to my door and asked me usual question regarding work. Since he got the answer he did not expect we started arguing. I was answering pretty casually and he was becoming more and more angry. Then i suggested, since the employees are listening to us, to meet after the work hours and settle it so we don't disturb them. He climbed back to the office, but soon he returned back to me, slamming inside and said: "You know what, i'm gonna wipe that smile off your face" and he charged and hit me. On that 1st April i was sobered in my office. He caught me off guard and i was stunned. He just slammed the door of my office and my life. My brain could not understand that something like that something like that would happen. I wasn't mad, but i did not know what to do, so i called some mentors who explained to me some legal consequences if i beat him and i should only report him. Since i was a majority owner i fired him out if the company. That night, i set down in my sofa and i lit a joint, took whiskey, and it think there was some cocaine around, because it was usual for me back then, but now i started wondering about the event and i realized nothing is clear 0 i am successful in business and in sports, i set my goals which i accomplish, i work enough and i am still unhappy. I was mad at God, i did not know if i still believed in him, so i started cursing him, and then i started feeling sorrow and wondered if i will ever achieve  complete happiness. I spent few minutes like that and i thought about when i saw other happy people, that i am good at accomplishing what i intend on doing and i will do everything i can to reach that happiness. On that night i reached to important conclusion about two things: Instead of feeling pity for myself, i will do something to lift me up and i will try to find a place that will help me build better relationships with people and to be happy. I found it, and it is called University of St Monica, master studies for spiritual psychology, it changed my life.

Foto Marko Todorović

Why did you change so many living places? 

- I didn't have to, i like it, that's how i chose it.

How much time does a process of transformation lasts in a man? 

- Transformation is a slow process. Even if you learn something about that, you need days, weeks, months... to apply it. For me, the process lasts entire lifetime, that is a way you chose to give rise to your subconsciousness and to live a happy life. That is a process that never stops, maybe you need a little rest because your ego is terrified of some better place. Transformation is for everybody, lifetime process.

Foto: Marko Todorović

What every man can do to "make his heart sing"?

- To get rid of the junk he is carrying with him and to realize that being a human being , he is valuable and worthy of love.

What did you teach the orphans you visit in Baha in Mexico? 

- Better way to say is what they thought me? I am not good with languages, but i have been visiting them once a month for the past three years. Many of them don't have parents and they have the stories which will make tears running from your eyes, but also they thought me pure and unconditional love. I remember in sunset, we sat all together in some dirt on the ground, girls and boys of the similar age and me, playing with some small sticks. Different ages, different origins, but we all felt the same happiness and we laughed together in that moment.

Foto Marko Todorović

There were employees of Microsoft, SAP, Vistage among your clients... Who are the people that ask for help the most? 

- Those are very successful people that have the same questions as any other people, it only manifests differently. They try to prove their worth. Their greatest fear is that they discovered that have been, how they think, "cheated". Because, when they become leaders, they start going to the places they have never been before and they take more and more responsibility. And when they meet something they haven't seen before, they don't want to show uncertainty, because they want to look strong, and there is where the pressure starts. And the more they accomplish, the greater the pressure, and with it the bigger walls that keep on rising. Those people don't go into deeper emotional relationships so others can not discover what are they working. It is not the courage to give an impression of a solid person with certain view on things that can't be disturbed. The courage is admiring what you can, but also what you can't do in your life. 

Describe yourself in one sentence. 

- Strong and warm person who helps others.

What do you think about Serbs? 

- You Serbs have amazed me with your warmness and heartiness. I met many brave and energetic people here in Belgrade. The problem with government and corruption is generally present, and you should do something about it soon, because all that "talent" is leaving Serbia. I believe in starting a small business, because it brings more workplaces. In USA they support people even if they business doesn't work, and on the Balkans, it seems that those people are "shrouded in gray cloud". Governments should work on that, community and media because there lies the potential, and Serbs as a people like to be different, and let it be management - says Anderson.

(Telegraf.co.uk / Sladjana Vasic)