Psychologist on possible motive for Aleksinac murder: Anti-women violence epidemic sweeping Serbia!

"The violence is based in childhood"

Another brutal murder happened in Aleksinac when a woman was killed by the ex-husband she had left, who then committed suicide.

Recommended

As a paradox, a stuffed heart-shaped toy soaked in blood was left on the sidewalk where the tragedy took place, an object the ex-spouse, obviously, intended to give to the victim, while families and friends of the ex-partners are now left devastated. After the statistics that record an increasing rate of tragic outcomes, we sought the answers from a psychologist about the frequency of these events, but also the motives of the perpetrators of such crimes. Whether men have become the weaker sex, remains up to the experts to answer.

Psychologist Aleksandar Kontic says that everything is happening in the world also touches on traditional things that are de facto being "diluted."

"The time when a man was an authority, like it or not, is changing, he was in a way the 'stronger sex', but increasingly that segment is being lost. I am of the opinion that man and woman are equal. People function best when they enter into a communion voluntarily, not by any coercion, but they also have the opportunity to leave of their own free will," the psychologist pointed out.

According to Kontic, in this case, the man could not bear to be abandoned by his wife, instead deciding to destroy both himself and her.

"This in effect tells us about his total weakness. We don't know the details of that relationship, we are not aware of how many aggressive outbursts there had been, while a common motive for all domestic violence which has a tragic outcome is the act itself. If a woman wants to leave him, the impulse to destroy is unstoppable, and carries the message - I will destroy both you and myself," Kontic stressed.

He said that perpetrators of violence cannot accept the fact that they are left behind and cannot bear something like that, but that this an already formed pattern of behavior that dates a long time back, above all to childhood.

Although men have an advantage today, since acquaintances are made possible both through social networks and in real life, but also because of the very functioning of the modern society, it seems that evolution is going retrograde, judging by the increasingly common fatal outcomes in marriages. We used to be taught control and socially acceptable behavior, but things have changed significantly in the meantime.

"Today, the aggressive impulse is far less restrained than it was before. What we are talking about is the impossibility of rational thinking, in the sense - 'if someone doesn't want to be with me, I have alternatives'. At that moment, there is neither logic nor reason, there is only the destructive impulse. There are a lot of factors why this is so, some have to do with the media and the family."

The psychologist made an appeal to train aggression control mechanisms in the family and in early childhood, at school, and even in the entire social environment.

"An uncontrollable aggressive impulse cannot be allowed, it must be directed towards some more creative channels. Something that is disgusting to show is represented everywhere today, the feeling of disgust over something that is destructive is being lost," the psychologist noted.

It is quite difficult for the environment to recognize potential violence since the receptors have become dull, but, as our interlocutor says, the perception of a personality has become very superficial - it goes either towards idealization or satanization.

"An ideal marriage has its problems and conflicts that should happen in a much more civilized way, but what reaches us is only the black and white picture," he stated.

Judging by the tragedies that marked these last days, and which came one after another, we arrive at the fact that violence-affected families are made up of older spouses - and whether this is a mere coincidence remains an question.

"I'm not sure there is no violence among young people, there is a lot of aggression in schools and a cornerstone is being laid somewhere there, and the question is asked - what will happen in later years. We expect that middle-aged and older people should be mature, and therefore, behave maturely, but that is not always the case."

Psychologist Kontic also said that the victim, at the first signs of aggressive behavior, should turn to someone they trusts or to an expert person who can protect them.

If you suffer violence or know someone who does, call the SOS hotline at 0800-35 00 36

(Telegraf.rs)